--a lighthearted look at some of our amenities
The Fernie Stanford Resort is perfectly set up to accommodate most wishes of its treasured guests. Wherever practical and possible, the Resort’s staff will eagerly bend over backwards to satisfy their needs. The majority of requests by visitors will be honoured, providing they do not impinge on the enjoyment of other guests. As a famous author once said, “discretion is the better part of valor.” So, it behooves us here to facetiously describe three activities the Resort must forbid to protect the majority of its guests.
Zoo animals in the shape of crocodiles, or the size of elephants are not allowed.
The housekeeping staff may have helped develop this rule! However, the Resort is pleased to inform guests of their “pet-friendly” policy. Small dogs will most certainly be accommodated. They will be offered amenities which ensure they are treated as well as other members of their family. Bowser’s comfort is ensured.
Full-dress hockey and lacrosse games in the dining room are forbidden.
This rule was developed when management feared that hungry players could be distracted by the exceptional food and service offered at the Tandoor & Grill Restaurant. Who knows what mayhem might occur when stick-swinging athletes storm the entrance trying to be first in line for some of the most delectable Indian cuisine found anywhere. Naturally, teams are most welcome to indulge in Chef Keshab Sapka’s fantastic culinary delights once they have shed their equipment and adopted an acceptable code of dining room behaviour.
The landing of commercial airlines and private aircraft on our rooftop is strictly forbidden. 
Aside from safety issues, the possibility of excessive noise led to this rule. Great pains have been taken to assure all guests of the complete privacy of their rooms, regardless if they are Standard Rooms, Theme Rooms, or Family Dream Suites. Besides, Fernie is located within driving distance of three major airports. Guests from around the world will appreciate knowing they can reach us after landing in Cranbrook, BC, or the international airports at Calgary, Alberta or Kalispell, Montana.
We hope that readers of today’s blog have enjoyed this farcical look at some inane rules. Guests are invited to take a second glance at them to notice some of the prime amenities offered at the Fernie Stanford Resort: Please contact the lodge when you wish to stay at our Fernie hotel and take advantage of our great, pet-friendly accommodation, superb dining prepared by a world-class chef, and a choice of several airports to reach us!